


Oikawa would protect him.

by oikawa101



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gay, Happy Ending, Jealous Oikawa Tooru, M/M, Returned feelings, Sad Iwaizumi, angry oikawa, buttload of fluff to help the angst, comforting oikawa, cutting iwaizumi, exposed in front of team, insecrue iwaizumi, kyoutani - Freeform, kyoutani had a big role, kyoytani helps iwa chan, oikawa is called out on being a drama queen, scarred iwaizumi, self harm iwaizumi, self harm scene, slightly OOC, uncertain iwaizumi, whole of aoba johsai show up at hajime's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 14:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8628745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawa101/pseuds/oikawa101
Summary: Iwaizumi isn't really as strong as everyone thinks he is. Oikawa didn't know Iwaizumi was so soft and precious and so damn insecure.





	

It was all my fault. I knew it was. My spikes weren’t good enough. They didn’t have enough power. I wasn’t good enough at receiving. I wasn’t good enough at blocking.   
Iwaizumi slammed his bedroom door shut as tears streamed down his cheeks. He knew he couldn’t cry in front of Oikawa. He was talking about how it was his fault. How could it have been his fault? All his plays had been perfect.

But Iwaizumi’s hadn’t been.

He sat on the floor and slid his hand under the bed, sighing in relief as he felt the small box that held all his blades. Opening the box slowly, Iwa picked up his newest, sharpest blade with two fingers and stared at it. Luckily for him, his parents weren’t home. He closed his eyes, reliving the moment of his defeat. Not the team’s defeat, his defeat. Because it was his entire fault that they had lost. Tugging of his shirt, he slid the blade along his hip bones, hissing out in pain occasionally. After slicing both of his hips a few times, he slid the blade across his left wrist multiple times, not caring in the slightest that he would have to make up an excuse for practice. There was something about cutting his wrist that raised his blood pressure. The fact that he could cut a vein and die, probably.

After he had finished cutting himself, he cleaned up, groaning as the cuts stung horribly against his joggers and jumper. Just after he had finished tidying up, the doorbell rang loudly, echoing around the silent house. Reluctantly, he stood up and answered the door and felt his eyes widen in surprise as the whole Aoba Johsai team stood on his doorstep.   
“What are you guys doing here?” Oikawa, who was standing right at the front, smirked. 

“Well, Iwa-chan, you’re parents said they’re staying at some hotel and that we could have a sleepover.”

Iwaizumi scowled, not wanting noise or anyone in his house at the moment. He stood back to allow them to enter and they all walked in, shouting and screaming. The night was fine, watching movies, playing video games and playing truth or dare. Iwaizumi sighed; it wasn’t that bad having them over, it distracted him from his mind. He stood up and stretched, momentarily forgetting the cuts on hips and the lowness of his joggers. His arms fell from their position and he opened his eyes to see Kyoutani staring at him in shock. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. Kyoutani’s eyes flickered from Iwaizumi’s face to his hips until his eyes narrowed. They stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds before Kyoutani walked off, not saying anything. He let out another sigh but this time of relief before walking over and grabbing a bottle of water of the table. As he raised the bottle to his lips, his eyes landed on Oikawa and Kyoutani who were having what looked like a deep discussion in the corner. 

Without thinking, Iwaizumi dived over, spilling water accidently on purpose onto Kyoutani’s shirt.

“Oops, sorry. I’ll lend you a shirt.” Iwaizumi said, grabbing his arm and pulling his into his bedroom quickly. He slammed the door shut and locked it behind him.

“What are you doing!?” He whisper-hissed at Kyoutani.

“Telling Oikawa.” 

“Telling his what?” Iwaizumi prayed for a few seconds that it was not about to the cuts on his body but his prayers went unanswered. 

“Your hips and your wrist.” Iwaizumi didn’t say anything for a while.

“Don’t tell him.” Iwaizumi said quietly, looking at the floor.

“Why? He deserves to know.”

“No he doesn’t. This would break him, knowing that he couldn’t help me. He’d blame himself.”

“Just like you do. He deserves to know: he’s your best friend. You can’t lie to him like this.”

“Okay, give me a week to tell him. If I don’t tell him within this week you can tell him.” Kyoutani considered this for a minute before nodding hesitantly.

“One week.” I sighed in relief and passed him a shirt from my wardrobe. 

\--------------------------  
It was the third day of my week to tell Oikawa about my ‘problem’ and I had decided to tell him tomorrow. But it seems the universe wasn’t on my side because the whole fucking volleyball team found out at practice. I had wrapped my wrist and part of my hand to pretend I had sprained it and successfully hid the cuts but of course my fucking clumsiness had to ruin it.

“Hurry and change! We might be able to get pork buns.” Kindaichi yelled out. Instantly, everyone changing began to hurry. I quickly pulled my shirt off without pulling up my shorts so they covered my hips.

“Iwaizumi! What happened to your hips?!” Cried Mattsun.

“What? Nothing.” Iwa said, hurriedly tugging his shirt over his body. But it was too late.

“Yo dude, what the fuck?” Yahaba said.

Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa nervously. His face was frozen in shock as he stared at his hips. He slowly stepped forward to lift Iwaizumi’s shirt but Iwa took a quick step back out of his reach.  
“Hajime.” Tooru said quietly, staring him in the eyes. Iwaizumi looked away and caught eyes with Kyoutani who was looking at him in pure sympathy. In one swift movement Oikawa had grabbed his bandaged wrist and ripped it off, exposing the deep red cuts littering his wrist from near his hand to half way up to his elbow. They hadn’t healed properly yet and the red stuck out horribly on his tan wrist. The team was silent staring at Iwaizumi’s wrist in horror. 

“Why would you do this to yourself?” Whispered Tooru, voice shaking. Iwaizumi didn’t answer, and just tugged his arm out of Oikawa’s grasp and turned it slightly so the cuts were shielded from view.

“Hajime.” Tooru said again, slightly louder.

“Leave me alone.” Iwaizumi said.

“What?”

“I said, leave me alone!”

“Leave you alone?! You expect me to leave you alone after seeing that!” Oikawa yelled eyes dark.

“Just act like you don’t know!” Iwa yelled back.

“Let me see your hips.” Oikawa said, calming down again.

“No, piss off. I don’t need your help and its none of your fucking business.”

“You’re my best friend; of course it’s my business!” Oikawa said, slightly hysterically.

“No it isn’t!” Iwaizumi was panicking; he couldn’t let Tooru see his hips as they were the worst. The cuts were new and not even healed yet (seeing as he had cut them again last night) and the scars there more prominent as the scabs had rubbed off with the waistband of his shorts rubbing on them constantly, making the scarring last longer.

“This isn’t a fucking choice, Hajime! Show me your fucking hips!” Tooru finally screamed. Iwaizumi stepped back again, frowning when his back hit the lockers. Before Hajime could do anything, Tooru had grabbed both his wrists, pinned them above his head and yanked up his shirt. He felt the air on his stomach and hips and heard the gasps of shock and horror and closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look on Tooru’s face.

“What the fuck.” Oikawa whispered, sounding pained. Oikawa released his wrists and stepped away from him slightly. Iwaizumi opened his eyes slowly, staring down at the floor and refusing to make eye contact with anybody.

“You stupid, fucking idiot.” Tooru choked out, through sobs. Iwaizumi’s head shot up and he stared at Oikawa incredulously. Why was he crying?   
“Why the fuck are you crying?” Iwaizumi asked. 

“Why am I crying? Why am I crying!?” Oikawa shouted, staring straight at him.

“Because I’ve just found out my best friend has been cutting himself for months on end and I had no idea. What kind of best friend does that make me, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa sobbed out.

“I... I’m not important and I hid it well. Stop crying.” Iwaizumi’s words made Oikawa sob even harder and Iwa’s eyes widened. What the fuck?

“YES YOU ARE IMPORTANT YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT! “ Tooru screamed, grabbing Iwaizumi’s shoulders and slamming his back into the lockers. A gasp of pain escaped his lips and he was reminded of after the game, when Oikawa had slapped him across his back. 

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I swear.” Iwaizumi finally said, after a few minutes of silence.

“Were you even going to tell me?” Oikawa asked.

 

“Ye-”  
“Because it doesn’t really look like it.” Oikawa said, cutting off Iwaizumi’s answer.

“He was.” Everyone turned to look at Kyoutani in shock because how the fuck did Kyoutani know?

“How do you know? Of course, Iwa-chan told you, what was the point of telling me?” Oikawa said. 

“Stop being a fucking drama queen,” Kyoutani scowled, “Of course the stupid idiot didn’t tell me. He didn’t tell anyone. I found out by accident after the game at his house. When he stretched I saw the cuts and was going to tell you, but that was when Iwaizumi threw the bottle of water over my shirt so I couldn’t. We made a deal that he’d tell you within a week and if he didn’t I would.”

“I was going to tell you tomorrow.” Iwaizumi muttered. Whilst Oikawa stood and mulled everything over, Iwaizumi turned to his bag and began to change. He tugged on a pair of black skinny jeans, wincing as the waist dug slightly into his cuts, and then a pale blue hoodie, then a darker blue jacket over that. He buttoned it up quickly before sliding on a pair of red trainers. He grabbed his phone out his bag, along with his earphones and turned to leave. The team watched him go in silence; the door slamming was the only sound in the room. 

Two hours later, Iwaizumi was home. He sighed as he took off his shoes and slowly made his way up the stairs, wanting to just collapse after the day he’d had. He opened his door and walked over to his bed, flopping over it tiredly.

Finally, a rest. 

A yell of pain and a yell of a shock ricocheted around the room. Iwaizumi dived of his bed just a head of chocolate brown curls peeked out from under the covers. Iwaizumi scowled. How had he not noticed the Oikawa shaped lump under his bed sheets?

“Shittykawa, what are you doing here?” Iwaizumi hoped that if he acted like earlier hadn’t happened, nothing would come of it.

“Iwa-chan. We need to talk.” Fail. Iwaizumi tried to look like he didn’t know what he was talking about.

“About what?” Oikawa pouted.

“You know what, Iwa-chan.”

“I don’t.”

“Hajime,” Tooru said seriously. Iwaizumi’s eyes widened, it was rare that Tooru would use his first name. 

“Some of those cuts were old; tell me what’s been going on.” Tooru stood up and grabbed a reluctant Iwa-chan, pulling him over to the bed, before wrapping his arms around him so Iwaizumi was enclosed in his lap.

“Oi, Shittykawa, you know I hate it when you do that.” Tooru just giggled, petting Iwaizumi’s spiky (but mysteriously soft) hair.   
Iwaizumi sighed, leaning back into Oikawa and relaxing into his warmth. Tiredness grabbed him and he yawned loudly. He always got tired when people played with his hair. Well, when Oikawa did, no one else seemed to and it’s not like Iwaizumi would let them.

“Iwa-chan, tell me.” 

“It started when we lost that match against the college kids. We were so close to winning but my spike got blocked. I wasn’t strong enough. I figured, if I hurt myself every time I lost us a game, I would stop making mistakes. But gradually that turned into if I ever made a mistake or if I was angry or upset.” He felt Oikawa stiffen against his back and bit his lip, frowning.  
“I do it because I’m a bad ace.” He ends in a whisper, trying hard not to cry. He wasn’t the crier, Tooru was. The next thing he knew, Oikawa was yanking him around so his legs were draped over Oikawa’s and they were facing each other. (This was more difficult then it sounded because they were on sheets that twisted when you tried to turn with your ass on them rather then a slippery floor.

“Iwaizumi. Iwa-chan. Hajime. You’re so fucking perfect. I can’t understand why you’d do this to yourself. You’re a brilliant ace. And the six strongest members in the team win, not one single person. And if you’re the one who loses, does that mean you’re the only one who wins?” The question leaves Hajime dumb struck for a few seconds. Because, holy shit, Oikawa was right (for once in his entire existence). If he was responsible for their losses, did that mean he was responsible for their wins? Obviously not, the win was a team effort, but then so was a lose. He looked up at Oikawa, eyes wide. 

Tooru was staring at him, eyes full of affection and love. Iwaizumi wanted to kiss him. The realisation hit him like a train and he was left with his shock and a kind of reluctant realisation that really he’d really wanted to kiss Tooru for a long time. They stared at each other wide eyed for a few moments, until Oikawa slowly moved in, lips ghosting over Iwa’s.  
“Iwa-chan, can I kiss you?” Hajime nodded and instantly their lips met. It was so passionate yet sweet and gentle and so reassuring. It just screamed to Iwaizumi that Oikawa was there. Oikawa had him. He was safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,, so I've been writing a lot lately and I'm not sure if I should start a collection. Also, I take requests. But only bxb please and I dont write:  
> Oikawa x Ushjima / Kageyama / Hinata / Sugawara (I ONLY WRITE IWAOI FOR IWA AND OIKS)  
> I also write smut but please specify who you want to top!   
> Thanks,   
> Oikawa101 x


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